Toxic People: How to Detect Them

Sometimes, after interacting with some people, you just  feel drained. You don't know what it is but somehow having them in your life seems to drain the life force out of you. You probably have a toxic person within your radar. Here are a few characteristics they exhibit:

1Slippery
Toxic people can be very slippery not in the sense that they have well oiled skin, but in that they never take responsibility for their actions.  Most of them don't have the word sorry in their dictionaries and when they wrong you, they will do anything to avoid taking responsibility for what they have done. They often change the story around so that you find yourself apologising for something that they did. Techniques used include minimalising the damage and claiming that you are simply over reacting and it was never such a big deal and manipulation where they will instead get hurt that you are confronting or you are offended and use this against you until you find youself apologising. Toxic people dont feel any form of remorse in using a thing you had entrusted to them as a secret to bring you down. Anything goes as long as they win and they don't take responsibility for their actions.

2. Problem Makers
Toxic people like to make problematic situations. They have no desire to fix problems. If you bring up an issue that you want to discuss, they immediately get defensive and start cutting you down. They use everything they have to make you feel small and they won't stop until you are clearly hurt. This when they will feel safe to open up to you since they prefer you to be weak and vulnerable. They are often very unreasonable and like to fly off the handle while giving arguements that logically don't add up.

3. Projecting
Unhealthy people often use projecting to avoid owning up to their emotions and feelings. They like behaving in passive-aggressive manners to get your attention. When you confront them for the passive aggression, they will reply with something as mundane as 'nothing is the matter'. At this point, they will project their feelings on you. Lets say they are angry with you, they will tell you 'I dont know why you are angry with me, I told you nothing is wrong' you see what they have done there, now you are the one who is angry.

4. FoereverUnhappy
A toxic person can never be happy for you. When ever you move forward in life, they will always focus on how this makes them feel less. A classic reply, 'I'm so happy for you that you have moved to that new appartment, unlike us who are still in the gutters' or they may just focus on the negative altogether e.g. 'moving to a new apartment just because you got a new job will make you broke'. They forever prey upon your energy, they believe that the world is so unfair to them and everyone is out to get them and hurt them. Since they don't take responsibility for anything, they prefer to blame everyone else in their lives for being so cruel and ununderstanding.

Toxic people are all around us and it is so hard to catch them because they dont take responsibility for their actions. Always examine your relationships to see if the people you allow in your life are healthy.